i'm going to be a student again!!

posted on: Wednesday, 5 December 2012

if you read my post 'the flick of a switch' you know about my situation this year and my plans for next/the future. anyway, today i had an interview to get on a photography btec course in the local college, so i left work and went up there. we were taken up to the room where they were going to give us a talk and then individually interview us. i'm so used to being the youngest in education settings; being born in august, but today i was the second oldest - there was also a middle aged man - and literally everyone - bar the man, of course - was with their mum. seriously, i have never felt so old in my life. 

anyway, i ended up going last because everyone else seemed to need to be somewhere (and i didn't mind being away from work for longer ;)) and the woman asked me what i was doing this year - seeing that i was 18 - and when i told her i only had a little part time job, she asked if i'd be interested in doing the level 2 btec, starting 'like now' and then go on to level 3 (which i applied for) in september like planned. honestly, i didn't even think about the fact i'd have a join a class that is already full of friendship groups, i just went for it. we decided that i'd start at the beginning of january, being a new term and all that, and she said that she'd help me to catch up with the two units i've missed.

she said my portfolio - aka a scrap book from paperchase and a description of each image next to it - was really good and she showed it to another teacher, that had come into the room about halfway through my interview. they both seemed really excited for me to be starting and the head of level 2 said she would email me with all the details. 

i think the fact i don't mind having to join a class later in the year and have to fit in with readymade friendship groups really shows how much i've changed in the past few months. really, i know i will be nervous the night before my first day, but the fact i'm not worrying about it, or even that it's not stopped me - which it would have not even six months ago - proves how i'm starting to slowly get over my anxiety, even if it does still knock me to the ground sometimes.

you don't even understand how grateful i am that everything is finally falling into place and it's proved to me that determination and persistance will get you there in the end if you want it enough. 

what's something that's made your week brighter?

p.s yes, i know, another dog photo, but seriously, the fact it looks like a swaddled babies body and then a dog's head makes me howl. he's the best.  


  1. I'm so happy for you!! I totally understand how you feel. I felt the same way after many months of dropping out. I was a bit nervous, and my anxiety was driving me crazy. I knew I had to make a change in my life, and I'm so glad I did. I love your positive attitude, and I'm sure you'll do great. I hope it all goes well, and best of luck. :D

    p.s. your dog is lovely.

    1. thankyou, you too! i'm just so relieved that things are working out :)

      yesss, i'm the same with my anxiety (i've always had it, but i suffered from a really bad attack a few weeks ago due to not having any plans etc) totally agree that you have to make the change yourself, go us!!