twenty fourteen on a clipboard // april.

it seems very strange posting on this blog now. i don't know why, and i'm not going to apologise for it. nor am i going to make promises to blog three times a week or even three times a month. the one place i doubt i will ever stop posting on is instagram. if you're remotely interested in my life/photography, then head on over there. i also have a photography blog now, considering i'm studying the thing. 

anyway, april was pretty good, i went to wales for the day with a couple of friends & i took some polaroids. i also went to see 'let it be' which was actually really good. it was basically a beatles tribute band but they were pretty good. 

april was also easter, probably my favourite religious holiday, you know, celebrating jesus and having eternal life and all that. nbd

may has already been a pretty great month for me, i hope that now we're heading into summer (ha) that i will finally get into the swing of 2014. 

read // one.

one of my aspirations for twenty fourteen was to read ten books, nearly one book a month. during january, i read stoner by john williams (technically started in twenty thirteen) but considering i had only read a couple of chapters, i think this should qualify as book one.
i felt really weird about stoner. it was a novel about a man's life. that was it. no climax, no mystery, nothing that would make you want to keep reading until the early hours. yet, i couldn't put it down. if i were reading an excerpt, i would have thought it was the most boring book ever writen (apart from 'a handful of dust') but by the time he meets his wife, you feel a connection to william stoner, you feel empathy and really just want well for the chap.
i've recommended the book to pretty much all of my friends, none of whom really seem captivated by the plot, but i know if they read it, they'd understand why i loved it.
i'm a little disappointed with how much i read during january & hope february will be better - i say that, but it's now the second week in and i've barely touched a book.

life is outside your door.

last tuesday, i saw city & colour live. it's something i've wanted for years, but for some reason, i've always been too late to buy tickets. as soon as his uk/europe 2014 tour was announced, i bought tickets, i didn't ask who wanted to come, i just bought two and decided to figure it out later.
it was magical. it was everything i wanted it to be and more. he may have outgrown a small academy venue, but he still had the ability to silence a room with his voice.
2010-2012 were the hardest years of my short life and while it was happening, i felt like the whole world was crashing on top of me and i'd never be able to get out. looking back on it i never really understood how bad my anxiety & paranoia were. i'd ignore attacks as me being stupid. i'd constantly be worried and reverted back to being a five year old, not being able to go anywhere without someone.
thankfully, i'm so much better now. my anxiety is still there, but it's nowhere near as severe as it was. i'm hardly having panic attacks anymore, in the past few months i've had under five. i hate talking about it & i'm so glad i'm not riddled with anxiety when i'm about to go somewhere; i still get a bit nervous and my stomach is full of butterflies, but it doesn't stop me from doing most things.
this year, i want to do more. i want to go to places and see things and be with people (but not for too long at one time). this summer i want to go to a couple of places and hopefully i'll be able to save up to go. i'm excited for 2014, the year i'm going to ignore my anxiety and walk out of the door.

twenty fourteen on a clipboard // january.

i spent so long looking for the perfect calendar this year & when i came across this free download, i was so happy. as soon as i got a printer, i printed it off, but i didn't have anywhere to put it. i thought about framing it, or just sticking it on the wall with washi tape, but i really loved the idea of using a clipboard.
i went to the local stationary store & i hated how all the A4 clipboards looked, so when i stumbled across this hidden PDF A3 one, i knew it was perfect, but knew it would swarm the calendar. i bought it anyway, and went on pintrest to see how i could utilise the clipboard so it wasn't just dead space. i saw so many people were using clipboards as a moodboard, and thought it would be perfect to use the extra space to display things i am loving during the current month. i also thought it would be a great place to display polaroids from this year when i get round to taking some!

january // "i just want to drink coffee, create stuff and sleep" / sherlock / "merci" thankyou postcard

2014 aspirations.

i hate calling them resolutions. it makes them seem like a revelation, or something profound when really they're aims i want to achieve during the year & beyond. i wasn't going to share my aspirations (that's actually what i've titled it in my notebook) but i just looked back and read my blog post from the end of 2012 and it was so nice to read about the things i really hoped for & wanted when i was in a completely different stage of my life. it's funny reading something you wrote a year ago, when you were a completely different person, in a completely different mindset. i'm so glad i have this blog to write and share & keep as a capsule for myself (& possibly my children one day). i'm glad i kept it up and scanning through, i blogged at least twice a month during 2013; the months i blogged a lot showed when i was inspired, and the months that were quiet were my busy/uninspired months.
so, my aspirations for 2014 are;

• keep blogging! try to do 'photo an hour' every month, at least six during 2014; share the process of my new house as it grows and develops into my dream property; share more of my photography; share monthly recommendations - films, books, bits & bobs; and most importantly - enjoy it!
• read ten books. i failed miserably at reading twenty books in 2013; i read around eight, i'm not really sure. but i've already started book one and i think ten is way more realistic.
• keep it simple. i don't want my home to be cluttered with things i don't want or need. my head feels cluttered when my room is & i don't want that to transfer when i move. not only in terms of material things, but in what i'm doing & saying too.
• have two hours computer/phone/internet free every day. i'm glued to my phone/computer and struggle to not have either in my hand or open on my knee. i want to switch off from the cyberworld and really pay attention to the real world; what's around me, what people are saying and doing and i really want to spend the time reading/meditating/cleaning/talking to someone. i'm pretty much on my phone/laptop 14 hours of the day, if not more & i want to stop!
• don't buy what i want, buy what i need. i want to be more frugal & condense my spending. find more things to do that don't cost money, learn how to manage money & admire things but don't buy them when it isn't necessary. 
• do what i love. i was so blessed in 2013 and have so much hope in what god has planned for me this year. i want to really listen to what god is saying to me and act on it. i did that more than ever last year and i really saw the outcomes of being faithful and hopeful. i want to keep taking everything to god, putting my worries, fears, hopes & thanks on him and rest in the knowledge he'll do what's best for me. you can never stop learning and changing and i can't wait to be a better version of the self i am right now.
• jar of thanks. i did the jar in 2013, but not as often as i'd like. i want to not save it for "big" things and just go wild! i haven't decided on whether i will share what was in my 2013 jar. maybe some, definitely not all. 

have you got any aspirations? how are they going?